🕊️ “How to Talk to Pigeons”
– The Speech That Changed Nothing, but Inspired Everyone
Welcome to Central State University’s Annual Public Speaking Showcase —
Where dreams are born, reputations are destroyed, and one brave student named Trevor Dean decided…
“Forget politics. Forget climate change.
I will speak about pigeons.”
🎤 The Setup
Each student had 8 minutes.
Topics ranged from “Overcoming Anxiety” to “The Ethics of AI.”
Then came Trevor.
Wearing a gray suit.
Holding… a loaf of bread.
🗣️ The Opening Line
“Hello. My name is Trevor Dean.
And I believe… pigeons are trying to communicate with us.
We’re just too arrogant to listen.”
Silence.
Some laughed.
The professor almost hit the “fail” button.
But Trevor wasn’t joking.
“For years, pigeons have walked among us.
Watching. Judging. Pooping with purpose.”
🧠 The Argument (Somehow It Got Worse)
Trevor clicked the first slide.
A PowerPoint titled:
“Pigeon-to-Human Communication: The Next Frontier.”
Slide 1:
🕊️ Pigeon Head Tilts = Morse Code?
Slide 2:
🍞 Breadcrumbs = Diplomatic Tokens?
Slide 3:
📍 City Statues = Pigeon Government Buildings?
“What if I told you pigeons don’t fear us…
They pity us?”
Someone in the audience dropped their pen.
Not from shock. Just confusion.
🎭 The Demonstration
Trevor pulled out a bag of bird seed.
“Observe,” he said, walking outside —
with the class in tow like some kind of breadcrumb-based Messiah.
He scattered seed.
Pigeons came.
Lots of them.
Then he crouched.
And began cooing.
Loudly.
Emotionally.
Academically.
“Krrr-koo koo koo.
That means ‘peace,’” he whispered.
A pigeon stared at him.
Did it nod?
Did it... blink in acknowledgment?
No one knows.
But in that moment, we all believed.
🏆 The Result
Trevor didn’t win the contest.
He didn’t even place.
But the judges gave him an honorary certificate:
“For Commitment to the Bit.”
His classmates?
They made a T-shirt:
“I Speak Fluent Pigeon – Ask Me How.”
One year later, Trevor was invited to do a real TEDx Talk titled:
“The Art of Being Taken Seriously While Talking Absolute Nonsense.”
🕊️ Moral of the Story?
You don’t need to make sense.
You just need conviction, carbs, and cooing.
🎯 Hashtags
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#PigeonTalk
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#TrevorDeanKnows
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#SpeechGoneWild
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#PublicSpeakingLegend
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#CooWithConfidence
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#PowerPointMadness
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#BreadcrumbDiplomacy
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#BirdWhisperer
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#CampusComedy
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#RespectThePigeons
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